Next, my all time favorite nurse came in and the doctor :) Long story short...the nurse's husband used to work with Drake and they were buddies and we figured this out when I first started going to this RE. So the nurse has become my friend, and she gave me her personal cell and she will squeeze me in if she needs to. I love her! Anyways...so then the doctor went through what she was going to be doing. I had a couple questions since I did not find anyone who had this done yet. They basically go in and suction out part of your lining so that they can check it and make sure it is how it needs to be for proper implantation. It hurt! Yes, only for like 10 seconds, but my face squished together and I had to remember to breath. The mixture of the pain and knowing I am again not pregnant hit me like a brick wall right then. I started crying. I couldn't help it. I get so embarrassed. The doctor talked to me and assured me I was normal and it is the patients that show no emotion that they worry about. After she left my all-star nurse stayed in and gave me a big hug and talked to me. Whew...it's an emotional day. Now I just feel crampy and am spotting, but I am glad it's over.
I am now scheduled to go in on the 23rd to sit and figure out our treatment plan now that they have done their necessary tests. I wonder what they will recommend? Well, I am off...I somehow have to focus on work the rest of the day.
I'm so sorry the nurse wasn't more sensitive towards you. I think they become desensitized after a while, and forget how devestating this news can be. And on top of that, having such an invasive procedure done...so overwhelming! But your doctor is right, I would worry more if you showed no emotions. Hang in there, this day will be tomorrow soon enough. Big (virtual) hugs.
ReplyDeleteboo. No work. sounds like a sick day to me. I hope I didn't add to any of the disappointment this time. I wish I could have been with there holding your hand. I would have. And we would have cried right then and there like we should have and we would have scared the crap out of the nurses.AND with all the money you have to put into this you would THINK they would have CHOCOLATE on hand, tissues, the whole freaking nine yards.
ReplyDeleteI'm giving you a BIG BIG hug in spirit. And so is everyone who reads this, I know it. We are all standing behind praying hard.
Oh Rach - I am so sorry. :( Just got back on my computer after a weekend away and read your last two posts. That SUCKS you had to find out about another BFN that way, plus undergo a painful procedure to top the cake. Ugh. I hate that you're hurting. I hate that you're not pregnant. I hate that we don't live closer so I could drive over and give you a huge hug right now. ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteYa know, I don't know whether an appt. first thing in the morning is better, or one in the afternoon? The morning at least gets it over with, but then you are left uncomfortable the rest of the day, and the afternoon appt's probably seem to take forever to get to! I'm so sorry this wasn't your month...I secretly POAS this morning which I NEVER do and got a BFN. I'm sure the RE will have a great plan for you once they have all your tests in and will get you your BFP soon!
ReplyDeleteWhere do you live?! I am heading over to give you a big hug right now! Man, give a girl some time to take it in!! I know that it can happen in their field, but I hate how some nurses become so insensitive.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear the news but I am glad you did not hold in your tears. Sometimes it feels so much better just to let those emotions out. Again, I am here if you ever need someone to talk to or even cry over the phone to. I do not mind at all. Ive been in your shoes. SOunds like you have a really good RE though and they seem to be on the ball.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you got the news that way...you would think they would be a little more sensitive!! I can't tell you how many times I have cried in my RE's office...they see it ALL the time, don't be embarrassed.
ReplyDeleteAww...the beginning of this entry made my heart tear up. I am going to start making you a constant prayer. I admit I have been slacking and I am often forgetful. But there is gonna be a baby. You are too beautiful a couple not to reproduce. : )
ReplyDeleteBig hug!